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Now we will perform the quietening exercises, that which will lull us into the good equanimity. And I will tell you why I thought about it. There are too many hysterical women around me [Smiling] and I want to quieten them down.
I also want to explain to you that it is a disease. Usually, it is treated ironically, but it really is not a joke. The word "hysteria" is derived from the Latin and Greek - "hystero" or "hyster," which means a womb. And when the womb is not functioning correctly, it results in a nervous disorder, - a woman becomes unbalanced. Today, I would say, three-quarters of the population are hysterical, unwell.
Women, usually, are reflecting very sensitively the conditions around. Man makes woman and woman makes man. Hysterical women are the product of wars, revolutions and general brutality. Whether a woman wants to assert her rights and to be called a feminist or not, she, constitutionally, remains more delicate, not weaker, but more delicate. And her delicacy is very obviously disturbed, now more than ever, although hysteria is a very well-known condition since antiquity. Partially, that is the reason why woman was considered not too reliable in the various functionings - the governmental, the ritualistic, etc. And, contrarily, when men were chaste and stable, woman was the greatest partner and was considered there as the primal personality in all the functionings - domestic, as well as political, artistic and religious. Although purely a female disorder, hysteria, really and truly, in different ways is manifested in the male also. Today, the whole world is unstable nervously, psychologically, psychically and, what is worse, - spiritually unawakened.
There are many, now, campaigns against this condition. There are various groups which are trying to promote the nature cures, which are fighting the allopathic crudeness and the limitations of the formal medicine. And, there is great hope for that campaign, but let me tell you something. regardless how many inventions will be in the therapeutic field, unless man will turn to God, nothing will benefit him absolutely nothing. Because even when the therapeutic tendency is very healthy, even then it becomes limited due to the fact that man gives too much importance to the body-existence, and, consequently, his life goes parallelly with intense fear, because when man is too fond of his body-life, he ignores the higher aspect of his life completely and becomes bound to his invention of preventive methods. he then is not practicing these preventive methods as a partial culture, but as an all-in-all, - he becomes addicted to his vitamins, just as alcoholics are addicted to their drinks, except, of course, for diametrically opposite reasons: alcoholic ruins his body, and health-food man builds it... yet, both are machines. Health-maniac hysterically fights for life, he fights for prolongation of youth. He fights, he fights all the time, but he does not live, - he just is afraid.
As a matter of fact, hysteria is markedly a fear disease. Hysterical person is full of exaggerations, fear, insecurity, alarm in whatever field he may function. There are horrible fits of hysteria, - some have just very mild hysterical symptoms, whereas others are completely distorted in their psyche; fear is the basis. it manifests in horrible panic and then it results in tears, combined sometimes with excessive merriment, excitement, and then again, fear, tears, convulsion, shivering, and then, as a reaction, deep, heavy slumber, and then various physiological exaggerations of the whole system.
A hysterical person, (I switch deliberately to "person" now, because in spite of the fact that the name is derived from the purely female disorder, it affects the man too, - you can say hysterical people; as a matter of fact, you all know what is mass hysteria in the crowds, etc.) - the hysterical person likes the audience. he is very sly without knowing it. it is always to frighten the other and to crave attention. it is a very ramified condition, it can hypnotize the physical body into almost any ailment. A person can be athletic and healthy as a horse, as a bull and as an elephant. The combination is good, right?! [Smiling] And yet, when it comes to these imaginaries, a person can say, "Oh well, I am a hopeless diabetic," and all the symptoms will be manifested on the poor body, every single one. Or else, "I am..." - I won’t even pronounce those horrible names, because they are a curse, but that’s what those people are afflicting themselves with. This is just a hysterical imagination. And, of course, a person can induce the symptoms and develop the disease. But, it is curable, because organically, there is nothing really very much damaged, although it can become so.
So that is what I wanted to tell you. Do not take lightly our manifold sessions here, for they are cure, protection, as well as inspiration to lead the life which will liberate you from those horrible afflictions. And the point is also that you are not only to liberate yourself, but you are to bring the Light to the others... and that’s here, Children, that’s here. That starts here, develops here and goes abroad. That’s what I wanted to tell you prior to our quietening exercises, so that you May , 1976 know what I am dealing with. My hands are really full, - sometimes the whole day goes into the demagnetization and dehypnotization of the hysterical people. It’s tough. [Laughs] But, don’t worry. I make it lots of fun!...
***
First of all, I must make it very clear that I am daily confronted with people who are in need of encouragement and consolation - depressed, moody, fluctuative, melancholical. they are not firmly established in Sadhana, they do not have a steady aspiration, but they all want the way out of gloom. Some do not even belong to our group, but they turn to me. Dejection is the keynote.
Women are even more subject to dramatization than men, men are subject to other crazes [Smiling] but melodramas are the "privilege" of the fair sex, because women are more emotional and more of a liar - they lie even more than men! They are born liars till they become not a female but a human being; and after becoming a human being, a true woman, a mensch, they become an aspirant, and after becoming an aspirant, they become spiritually inclined. unless there is such transformation and such turn from the hopeless "female" to that kind of evolution, they are very much more vulnerable to the negativities than men (now please mark well, I am referring to the multitudes, not to the elite).
Men are not at all superior or more of a mensch, but they were, since times immemorial, more privileged in doing the things which they like and trying to do them as well as they can. They always had more professional training, more outlets, more independence. It did not necessarily add to their cultural or spiritual advancement, but it somehow preserved them, relatively speaking, from typical-for-women emotionalism (relatively, for there are a lot of cracked men also!). Relatively speaking, they are not as susceptible to that perpetual moodiness, fluctuations and hysteria which many women are subject to... [Pause] I meet them by dozens and I know the reasons. After this music of Schubert, after the precision and charm of these rhythms of our movements, after the invigorating vibrations of the night, I am inclined to tell that women are so exaggerated because, firstly, they do not have anything to love deeply and, secondly, because they do not have the courage to speak the truth. The music and the stars told me this secret! [Laughter]
To speak the truth does not mean that you have to call a spade a spade and become crude, rude, unaccepted in any society - there are such types and they are just horrible, nobody wants them. it does not mean also that you have to be arrogantly self-expressive like some people try, and again nobody wants them, because they just catch you with the hope that you are the one to whom they can tell all their woes. No, this is no cure, this is just making yourself absolutely undesirable in any society, really, very unpopular...
The cure is to tell the truth about ourself in other ways. If, for instance, you are caught in something or somewhere, where you think you are saving your face by saying a lie, don't. Because it gives you a psychosomatic problem afterwards. Don't say a lie. Either don't say anything, or else say that which you feel (without becoming arrogant), that which you really are. If you are angry, just say, "Excuse me, I'm mad now, don't talk to me." And then get out somewhere and just do something about your anger (run a mile, break a vase - your own vase), but do not cork your screams in yourself or else you will start to be very teary or moody. That's one of the symptoms which I want to bring to your attention and which I am confronted with daily. A person starts to cry, not because there is a reason for it, but because he cannot help it - just a teary spell. Why is that? Because there was some kind of a cork put on, into something steaming, and this results in poison. And when there is no more such corking, the teas come out and a person becomes dilapidated eventually, because tears are very weakening if they are negative tears. So a woman is more frustrated than any other person, child or man - [Amused] so we have any more members in our society?! [Laughter] Well, the rest of society is not as vulnerable as the venerable ladies are...
Psychiatry is a very, very popular branch of occupation, and there are many charlatans in this field who just remove your bank account into theirs, yet do not help you. But among them are also some honest and insightful people who are trying to research and pinpoint certain facts about the human mental workshop. Among other things, some say that mental depression is due to the fact that people do not assert themselves sufficiently. Now mind you, here is the point which we have to figure out. From the totally worldly point of view, there must be a fraction of truth in this statement. it is better to say what you want than to sneak, to be timid, to be evasive and feeble, - even a brute is, if not better, then at least mentally healthier than a hypocrite.
I just told you that a "female type" is a liar, really a liar. Why so? Because the only way she could get a man (and that was the main thing she cared to possess) was through lies. As recently as a couple of decades ago, it was more desirable to hunt husbands than it is today. The average man was more of a provider and a life partner and not just a "hello-man" who will divorce her (or whom she herself will leave) in two years, a year, or half a year, or three months, who would leave her with a child, or won't even marry her. So now females do not hunt men the way they used to hunt, but they still have the very same makeup which they cannot successfully apply, and this is one of the causes of their mental instability.
It is almost an atavistic feature - woman, through the many tricks and gimmicks and tactics of aeons (what a woman thinks is "charm!") coquetry, flattery, etc., developed that specific cunning, sneaky way, the "female weapons"; she had nothing else but that since times immemorial. Now that she does not get a male through these maneuvers, she lost her grounds. Often a "female type" feels very forlorn and depressed, because she does not have either self-respect or respect from society. Neither does she have the acknowledgements which before were given to her by all the relatives and friends, "Oh she's so glamourous," or if she was not glamourous, then "Oh, she's such a wonderful housekeeper," or else, "She's such a wonderful mother," etc. All these were the encouragements and the supports for her aims and goals. But nowadays, most females feel that it is a loss of time to be a "wonderful housekeeper," she would rather "go places"...
As to the "glamour," it is a very sharp point. It could be the part of general culture, or it could become a very undesirable pretense. just as few wealthy people use their wealth rightly and beautifully, even so a glamourous woman seldom uses her personality wisely. The riches of the wealthy are either spent or hoarded. When spent, it is mostly to impress others or to indulge passions. very few are using riches to please themselves gracefully, with measure, with gratitude, with elegance as well as to serve, please and inspire others. Even so, with glamourous women. Few use their glamour, or let's say, charm and femininity, rightly and beautifully. Here again, to be righteous does not mean to neglect aesthetics, charm, elegance, or even health as is the case of some prude and often very unhappy women. But it means not to commercialize one's charm, neither to squander it. Use your femininity to please God, to inspire man and to serve children. Dress, cosmetics, scents, etc., should only accentuate your personality, make it more sweet, but never ostentatious, vulgar or competitive. Neither there should be a trace of boring pedantry or unasked-for ultra-propriety, or, for that matter, the sloppy negligence and bravado of the hippie style. All extremes, be they in poverty or wealth, in elegance or shabbiness, are equally uncostly and unworthy.
As to being a "wonderful mother"... and this, my dear ladies, I say with a pain in my heart, but let's face it. The "holy motherhood" undergoes plenty of re-evaluations from every possible angle. Unwedded mothers, unsupported divorcees, drug addicted wives - all of it causes rebelliousness, bitterness, also anti-social conduct. As to the children, it is just in the air, they sense the whole bizarre atmosphere and respond to it with the exaggerated "adventuristic tendencies," to put it softly. All this puts "motherhood" into a category of failures... That I really speak with sadness, - to fail even motherhood, the greatest power of woman... well, it is tragic...
And there is another type of a female, not depressed, but aggressive. Her hobby is to visit the psychiatric office, for she "does not understand." This chronical "I don't understand" can drive any male crazy... except psychiatrist - he loves such cases! He tells them that they should be still more assertive! However, soon this type of a woman finds out that this intensification of aggression only brings to her new problems. By becoming very arrogant, she again is undesirable, unsuccessful, unfulfilled. What is worse, there is no respect, which alone could give her self-confidence. Well, I am referring, not to the career women, who are competing with men and taking the field of education, but to the "female," the one who atavistically depends upon man. The woman of yore was protected and respected, her functions were clear to her. The female of today?
By the way, the career women are also stuck, because they try to imitate man instead of creating themselves. The young women borrow the mannerisms of "dopers," whereas the mature women imitate the "prodigal son" who finally returned from where he dropped out because it "tastes better," but still he is a helpless neurotic. And we have these neurotics in every possible career. So to compete with a second-rate man or to emulate him, is really to subscribe to either a chronically depressed or chronically hysterical state which makes you unfit today. And I remind you again, that because women are more sensitive, both negatively and positively, they suffer more, - and (softly) I am all for them, I want to help them. I want to help them and I will.
Women, - those of you who are here and who are elsewhere, know that your complexes can be cured. And you need not weep and you need not lock yourself in the room and be alone with a mug of beer or a glass of whisky, as, alas, you so often relieve yourself with. And neither should you start travelling and looking for excitements, often being tempted and deluded by the pseudo-occult movements, with sex affairs which are inevitably following, or hysterical self-expression, or else alcoholism and dope addiction... [Silence]
Today, [She suddenly bursts into laughter] I spoke with one "Gloopy Blonde" [Simplified from "gloopaya blondinka"] How many "Gloopy Blondes" do I have?! And I gave her a big compliment - so I told her, "Not all the blondes are gloopy." "Gloopy" in Russian means "Durak." "Durak" in Russian means "fool!" [Laughter] So I told her, "Not every blonde is so awfully Gloopy! Let's face the fact, you are a pretty blonde... [Uproar] but in spite of it, you are not all that stupid." And then I said the thing which is good for all the "Gloopy Blondes" to remember - that the best present you can give me is to be honest. if you want to get my help and my real care, never lie to me. Please don't, I have no time for that. And I told to this "Gloopy Blonde" to be just like prince Chumpy [Valentina's German Shepherd] - he tells me the truth with his eyes, with his devotion, with his barking, with his good moods, with his bad moods, with his guilt complex as well as with his being proud of his behaviour. he is priceless because he is so sincere. So the best way for every "blonde" [Smiles] (and by blonde I mean a female in general) is to drop all the female diplomacy, it is no good any more. We do not even have the real men, oh women! So for whom are we going to use all the gimmicks! [Laughter] Give them up!
Well, now that Valentina poured it out, all of you are ready to ask, "What then?" The "then" is so manifold, but I will not give you the pleasure of hearing advertisements, lectures and propaganda. All I can do is state the facts: you have here the high culture, the spiritual goal. Enter or re-enter! This is the panacea. Concretely, do not take lightly the poetry of our nights here and the labour of our days - the Sadhana. The self-culture here is so outlined, - it should never sound utopian to you. it is practical, it is accessible; it is achievable, and behind it is the Saint of today - Sivananda! Let's start a new race, let's start it here and now! Oh men, you are included! [Laughter] Come on!... Stretch and inhale. [When bowing to the ground, Valentina quietly] I don't like women to cry, honestly, I don't like it... God bless all...
(February 16, 1978)