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[Although our Holy Mother, Sri Sivananda-Valentina, produced enough material for hundreds, if not a thousand, books, it is sometimes difficult to relate to a great Saint without imbibing the personal colors of that Being. Witness the many stories about the life of such great Souls as Rama and Krishna, Buddha, Christ, etc. With this in mind, we are presenting some stories about the life of Sivananda-Valentina in Her day-to-day life at the Ashram. Because there are only a few people around today, who worked closely with our Holy Mother, most of these stories will be by myself. We are starting with one story and will gradually add more. I hope that you will enjoy them. - Jack]
Sivananda-Valentina's Absolute Purity
One afternoon, I was sitting in the Florida room of the Branch Ashram sorting out photos of our Holy Mother to be used in an upcoming book. I was using a large mahogany table for a desk and there were photos and drawings spread out all over it. I was carefully arranging them so that I could see them all at one time and compare which pictures were most suitable for the new book. All the while, I kept in mind what our Holy Mother always stressed, that we should never handle the sacred photos and other sacred objects carelessly, that we should repeat a prayer or Mantra, or contemplate some Divine Quality while handling them. The reason for this being that our Holy Mother was teaching us reverence for the holy objects and also not to become mechanical in our work and to keep up our inspiration in whatever we are doing. So there I was, happily arranging all of the photos and art materials aware of the beautiful serene Light that permeated the whole atmosphere. Just to be in the same building with our Holy Mother was an awesome, inspiring event. I was looking over each picture, repeating a prayer, when suddenly, I heard Her soft, gentle, quiet voice behind me and She asked how the work was going and gave me instructions about it as well as about various other aspects of Ashram work.
While Holy Mother was speaking to me, Her big German Shepherd dog, with his tail waving happily, came trotting into the room with his favorite toy in his mouth, a toy plastic bowling ball, which just barely fit into his huge mouth. He loved to bite on it and would slobber all over it with his saliva. After that, he would roll it in the dirt and again would slobber all over it creating a slimy mass of mud and saliva, a disgusting object that I was always reluctant to pick up. So, he very proudly took this prized possession and placed it at the feet of our Holy Mother, apparently as a loving gift and then lay there looking at Her with adoring eyes, waiting for approval. Our Holy Mother quietly expressed acceptance of "Prince Chumpy's" gift and continued to discuss with me the work. Then, to my surprise, while continuing to talk to me about the work, She gracefully bent down and, using a paper tissue, picked up the bowling ball. I never would have imagined that our Holy Mother would pick up that disgusting object, so sloppy and dirty, even using a tissue. Either I, or any of the other students would have jumped at the chance to do it for Her. Then, as She continued to instruct me in the work, She just casually placed that sloppy, filthy-with-saliva, bowling ball, right on top of some of the most beautiful of the holy images and then left for Her Abode. I just stood there in a non-plus. How could She do such a thing? That filthy disgusting bowling ball right on top of those pictures which I had reverentially and lovingly placed so carefully on that table. I knew that there is always a reason for everything our Holy Mother does and tried to figure out the reason for it. Not being able to think of anything that could remotely explain why She would do such a thing, I went over to the table and picked up the bowling ball from the sacred images to assess the damage. To my surprise, amazement, astonishment and great joy, I discovered that the bowling ball was not only bone dry and clean, but it was emanating such intense Purity and Light, that it was as sacred as any of the Images on the table. I also felt myself filled with that Purity and Light and just stood there for a long time in a state of quiet peace and joy.
This was just one of many ways in which our Holy Mother transmitted to us, without words, lessons in the Power of the Spirit which could never be transmitted with words. The subtle is always stronger than the gross. Light is always stronger than darkness. Glory to the Light!
The Light of Sivananda-Valentina!
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Guru's Everlasting Beauty
Many times over the years, when our Holy Mother spoke about Sri Ramakrishna and other great spiritual Beings, who suffered greatly, She told us that in spite of what the books said, a realized Soul does suffer when he is ill and in great pain, because, at such a time, the mind cannot be kept continuously up in the higher realms. This came home to me, when, in later years, our Holy Mother became ill with cancer of the throat and I could see the marks of terrible suffering on Her face. Yet, in spite of this, She continued to radiate Peace and Joy and incredible Beauty, which is not of this world. Thus, it was hard to reconcile the Beauty which She emanated with the fact that She must be suffering terribly. Also, She continued to give Satsangs and lengthy discourses right up until the time that She was physically unable to do so. Although Her physical body became weak, Her mind and heart never lost their inspiration.
Our Holy Mother used to enjoy walking out into the back garden and lie in the hammock, but gradually, She could go there less and less until She could only walk as far as the Florida room and, eventually, even that was too much for Her weakened body. On one of the very last days that She was able to leave Her room at all, She was in the kitchen, giving instructions to the student who was Her cook and housekeeper, when I just happened to walk in and saw Her there. I was shocked at Her changed and weakened condition and so as not to disturb Her, I quickly and silently left before She even saw me. When I was outside, I could hear Her continue to talk with the student and decided that I would go and clean the patio where our Holy Mother used to sit in the sun, because none of the men students were allowed near Her private quarters. I grabbed a rake and quickly ran over to the other side of the house. To my great amazement and astonishment, there, lying on the chaise lounge, bathing in the sun, was a goddess of supreme Beauty, completely relaxed and gently caressing the skin on Her arms as She held them up to absorb the beautiful, warm healing rays of the sun. It was our Holy Mother, just how She looked when She was a young ballet dancer in the early photos taken in Her younger days. I couldn't believe my eyes! Her whole being was emanating a cool Light of absolute Purity. Her skin was as perfect and as flawless as a young child.
There was no way our Holy Mother, who walked very slowly, could have gotten to the patio before me, because I went very fast and She was still talking to the student in the kitchen when I started out. How could this be? Could it be another woman? But that was impossible, because I was working around the outside of the house all the time. No one could have entered the house without my knowing it, nor was there ever anyone at the Ashram who looked like this, so it could not have been an unknown guest. And besides, this was undoubtably our Holy Mother as She looked in Her younger days.
I quickly turned away to respect our Holy Mother's privacy and walked to the side of the house and sat down, racking my brains, trying to figure out what this "vision" could mean. At the time, I did not think about it as a vision, because the scene itself seemed so natural, except how could She be in two places at one time and how could She have regained Her youth and Beauty? I racked my brain trying to figure it out from every angle I could think of, but it is just something that one can not understand with the mind.
In later years, I thought of a story our Holy Mother told us about Sri Aurobindo, how after he left his body, he let his Divine Consort, Mother Mira, somehow know that he had left his body voluntarily, because his mission was over. His illness was just a way of leaving the body without letting anyone know, beforehand, that he was going voluntarily. He knew that Mother Mira would not have let him go if she knew that he was leaving by choice. So maybe that is why our Holy Mother allowed me to see Her in such perfect health and Beauty. And, perhaps I wasn't able to figure this out until after She left, because She wanted to spare me the conflict that would have inevitably been in my mind.
One might say that this was my imagination and that is possible, although I had written to our Holy Mother many times over the years about various experiences I had and She several times remarked that I do not get carried away with my imagination and that my experiences are usually true. So, I am inclined to believe that what I saw that day was true also.
It is truly awesome and awe-ful to think that our Holy Mother, who had complete mastery over Her body and mind, could have healed Herself and retained Her youth and Beauty at will, yet She chose to undergo such unbearable suffering for many years. Just as Christ took on the suffering of the world in His time, Sivananda-Valentina took on the suffering of the world in modern times.
Our Holy Mother once said, "The greatest Beauty is in self-sacrifice." By that standard, our Holy Mother is the Beauty of all Beauties.
Glory to Sat Guru!
***
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Sri Sivananda-Valentina - the Mystic
Many times, over the years, our Holy Mother used to humorously point out that here, in the sin city of the world, Miami Beach, there existed The Light of Sivananda-Valentina, a spiritual retreat dedicated to leading man to the Divine, according to one's rung of evolution. But never before one sacred Observance of Navaratri, dedicated to the nine day worship of the Divine Mother, was it so deeply and irrevocably impressed into my mind how really stark was the depth of our Holy Mother's spiritual Transmission. But, before I go into this experience, I will briefly explain what Navaratri is about. As I mentioned, it is a nine day worship, or actually, nine nights. The first three nights are dedicated to the Divine Mother in the form of the Goddess of Destruction, Maha Kali, or Maha Durga. She is the Force which destroys the evil within us and prepares us for the entry into the higher spiritual practices. It is something like the Jewish Observance of Yom Kippur, where we emphasize deep repentance of our sins, or like the Christian Lent and Passion Week where we also fast and repent for our sins.
After the first three nights, during which, even the very atmosphere in the Ashram seemed to be filled with that powerful Force which annihilates all sin, the next three nights are dedicated to the worship of the Divine Mother in the form of Lakshmi, the Protectress, Giver of Plenty, Divine Love and Sustenance. During this period, those who are sensitive, can feel the subtle, gradual, yet tangible change in the atmosphere from the powerful Force of Repentance to a softer, more loving Force, yet equally powerful. During these three days, Mother Lakshmi is worshiped with the best of everything this world has to offer. The Altar in the Sanctuary is loaded with gifts of food, flowers, jewels, as well as spiritual articles such as prayer beads, medallions, etc. which are left to be blessed by Mother Lakshmi. Then, on the last night of Mother Lakshmi worship, the atmosphere begins to change again and becomes more subtle and gradually filled with more peace, and the emanations of Purity seem to become even more subtle and transparent. During the third night of the Lakshmi Observance, there is an all night vigil in preparation for the approach of the next three days dedicated to the Goddess of Purity, Wisdom and Love, Mother Saraswati.
It was on the third day of Mother Lakshmi worship that our Holy Mother told me to finish up the painting of Mother Saraswati that I was working on, so it would be ready for the Brahmamuhurta worship, which is about an hour or so before dawn. That night I was working late on the painting and about four a.m., our Holy Mother entered the office, (which at that time was just a garage with boards placed over sawhorses for tables). Our Holy Mother looked at the painting, told me to make a few minor changes and left. In a short while, She returned, looked again at the painting and said, okay, it is ready. I started to mention that I was not pleased with some things and She simply answered, "It is ready!" I immediately stopped working and carried the painting into the Sanctuary, following Her instructions, and placed the painting on the Altar, which had already been prepared by other students. I was then told to sit down and I sat in my favorite little niche near our Holy Mother's place in the front of the Sanctuary. While I sat there praying, our Holy Mother added the final touches to the Altar, sometimes repeating a Mantra and at other times silent. The Altar became more and more alive with a mysterious Divine Energy. Our Holy Mother seemed like a different Being that night, She was even more silent and withdrawn than usual. Her Silence and Peace emanated throughout the whole Sanctuary filling it with a subtle Light of Purity and Peace that was tangible.
After our Holy Mother finished arranging the Altar, She sat in Her place and, taking up Her Rudraksha beads, began to repeat the sacred Mantras in a very low deep voice, as if the Mantras were being uttered from somewhere deep within, from some ineffable Silence. The Silence in the Sanctuary became deeper and deeper with each Mantra She repeated. I was in awe at such depths of Silence which I had never experienced before. Then, with these deep vibrations of Silence emanating from Her, our Holy Mother arose and went to the Altar. She first bowed to the Image of Mother Saraswati, which emanated great Energy, repeated, with deep fervor, the Mantras dedicated to Her and prostrated before the Image. As She prostrated there in silence, to my astonishment, a beautiful golden white Light very softly emanated from the Image of Mother Saraswati and in silent, peaceful rays gently flowed down to our Holy Mother and over Her, enveloping Her in that Golden Light. What was even more awesome, was that this soft gentle Light seemed to be accompanied by a tremendously powerful, yet subtle Energy that radiated all around the Altar. After awhile, our Holy Mother arose in wonderful Silence and Power, and it seemed as if the Image of Mother Saraswati had come down from the Altar as She walked into Her Abode. I just sat there in awe and felt very blessed to have been allowed to see such an incredible spiritual event.
How unreal everything seemed, when later, as dawn broke, I walked home in the quiet streets of Miami Beach. Who could believe that here, in the heart of this city, there was someone who was partaking of worlds undreamed of, things that we associated with some reclusive people hidden deep within the Himalayan mountains and which we never really believed in. But here it was, right in our midst, a demonstration that that One Power God is everywhere and in everything. The Divine Mother, the Energy of God, is not restricted to one nation, one religion or one person, but She is manifested wherever there is a pure heart combined with great Wisdom and Love.
What I write here describes just a small fraction of the spiritual Energy, Power and Beauty which was operating that wonderful and awesome night when I discovered Sivananda-Valentina... the Mystic, whom I had never known... and still don't know.
Om Sri Saraswatiya Namaha! Om Sri Sivananda-Valentina! Om Guru!
***
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